i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
