We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
