Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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