The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize