Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
