Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
