My first STD was from a foam party
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
