I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize