I'm drive I can fine osifer
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
