Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
