You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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