You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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