So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
