You smell like a Billy Joel song
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
