Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
She is in my trunk
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
