he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
