I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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