hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
