well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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