I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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