I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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