i think my tv is drunk
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
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