Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
