the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
