North Korea, Best Korea!
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
