FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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