I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
