Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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