I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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