I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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