I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
