So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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