Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
