Its about making memories worth repressing
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
