I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
