Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
