Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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