Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
