we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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