Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
