he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
