I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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