no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize