they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize