Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
