i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
