so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I love having hate sex.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
