Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My bed smells like the plague
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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