Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize