How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
