Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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