ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
