considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
