Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
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