eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
