My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
