she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
