Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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