I'm pants shitting drunk right now
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize