fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
