As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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