is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You're a waste of cheezeits
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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