my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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