is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
