I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
