we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
