No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
