I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
